Mother

It's a curse to see a person you love slowly fading away. I still remember the moment, and unfortunately, it will stay in my memory for many years, when during a pleasant dinner with friends I got a call telling me that my mom would not reach the following Christmas. I felt devastated, I knew that perhaps cancer would take my mother sooner, after all, it was the third time it resurged and I was already making plans to go back to Portugal. But after that call everything changed: there was only one thing to do, to return home, no matter how. It did happen without much sacrifice to my professional life, thanks to the cooperation of my employer, and soon I was in Portugal and able to see my mother every day. Having seen photo projects that involve this kind of situation, I wanted to do my own, but I just didn't have the courage. Honestly, I didn't really feel the motivation; it felt weird what I was doing. I knew what it was, I just didn't want to be reminded of it - I was documenting my mother's death. So although I didn't go through with it 100%, I eventually captured some moments. Why did you do it, you may ask? Was it worth it? It was. Not really for the pictures - looking at them now, I don't want to remember my mother like this. But I want to remember how close I became with her to make this shots, with her and with my whole family. I miss her, I miss her every time I think of her, and the worst part is that I cannot tell her that. It feels like a wall, that as hard you punch you cannot get through because she is not there anymore to listen, to be hugged, to annoy me with Skype calls, or to call me during working hours because she just misses hearing my voice. I miss you mom, I miss you with all my heart, and it hurts, it hurts bad that I cannot tell you this... From your beloved son, Nuno